Illusion in negotiations

How to recognize illusion in negotiations? Rules of social influence and manipulation techniques

Introduction

In negotiations, not everything is as it seems. Behind politeness can be calculation, behind apparent compliance - the desire to take control of the process. The key to successfully defending against unfavorable concessions is to understand the mechanisms of influence that negotiators - often unconsciously - use against each other.

In this article, we will explain what social influence rules are, how they differ from influence techniques, and how they are transformed into specific negotiation tactics. We will look at two common illusions: one based on the rule of liking, and the other on the rule of commitment and consistency.

Social influence rules vs. manipulation techniques - clarification of terms

Social influence rules are basic psychological principles that guide our social reactions. They are universal - they work across cultures, situations and relationships. Their power stems from the fact that they make it easier for us to function in a complex social world - they help us make quick decisions without burdening our minds with excessive analysis.

Some of the most commonly used rules in negotiations include:

• The rule of liking (we agree more easily with people we like),
• The rule of consistency (we want to be consistent with previous decisions),
• Rule of reciprocity (we feel obligated to reciprocate a favor),
• Rule of unavailability (rare = more desirable),
• Rule of authority (we trust those considered experts).

On the basis of these rules, influence techniques are created - deliberate actions that use known social mechanisms to control the behavior of another person.

A technique is a practical application of a rule - dressed up as a strategy of action.
These are the techniques we encounter most often in negotiations.

Illusion No. 1: The rule of liking and the "wolf in sheep's clothing" technique

Rule of liking - the power of liking

The Rule of Liking says that we are more willing to comply with requests from people we have affection for. In negotiations, this can take the form of:

• emphasizing similarities ("I used to work in this industry, too"),
• compliments ("I admire your approach to team management"),
• a light, friendly conversational tone that creates the illusion of agreement.

This doesn't have to be manipulation - but it becomes so when the sympathy is apparent, and its purpose is solely to weaken your vigilance.

The "wolf in sheep's clothing" technique

This is a specific technique based on the rule of likeability. It involves hiding selfish or hard interests under the mask of friendly cooperation. The interlocutor pretends to be an open partner, but in reality:

• agrees with you only in appearance,
• avoids concrete agreements until he gets the upper hand,
• plays for time, building the illusion of a common goal.

Pay attention to:

• inconsistency between words and actions,
• "fraternizing" too quickly,
• an emotional climate of conversation that replaces real interests.

Illusion #2: The rule of consistency and the "small steps" technique

Rule of consistency - the need to be consistent

People have a strong need for internal consistency. If we agree to something once, we find it harder to back out later - even if the situation has changed. This is a psychological mechanism that makes it easier for us to act, but in negotiations it can be used against us.

The "small steps" technique

This is a technique based on this very rule. It involves gradually pushing the boundaries:

1. You agree to a small concession.
2. The other side uses this as a benchmark.
3. Subsequent concessions seem like a "natural continuation."

As a result, you end up with an agreement that you would never have accepted at the beginning - but you were "drawn" into it.

Pay attention to:

• the increasing number of demands after your initial agreement,
• the pressure of consistency ("Since we agreed, it is now logical to..."),
• the difficulty of saying "no" despite growing discomfort.

Rules ≠ techniques, but are interrelated

Social rule	The technique based on it	Purpose of the technique
Rule of liking	Wolf in sheep's clothing	Build an apparent bond to weaken vigilance
Rule of consistency	Small steps technique	Draw the interlocutor into a string of concessions

A rule is a mechanism - a technique is a tool that exploits it. A conscious negotiator not only knows the rules, but recognizes the specific techniques by which they are implemented.

How to defend against illusions in negotiations?

• Separate emotions from interests - even if the conversation is pleasant, don't assume that this means a commonality of goals.
• Analyze each proposal separately - don't get caught up in logical continuities that lead beyond your limits.
• Ask questions: "Why this?" and "Why now?" - help you get out of automatic action mode.
• Record findings and observe changes - often influence techniques are effective because they don't leave traces. Document!

Summary

Illusions in negotiation are not magic - they are predictable, psychological strategies based on the rules of social influence. The rule of like and the rule of consequence are powerful tools - but only if you are not aware of them. When you know what's going on, you can react, stop the process and regain control.

Do you want to gain immunity from manipulation and an edge at the negotiating table?
Join Negotiation Camp - a hands-on training where you will learn the rules of influence and how to recognize them before it's too late.